Knock innocently –
as if you were…striking one clear note, never heard before.
Create enough space within
to receive the force you release;
hollow yourself –
purified of hidden hopes and fears,
and it shall be opened easily –
a natural response to space created,
part of the contraction-expansion of the universe…
The opening words are from a translation of the words of Jesus by Neil Douglas-Klotz. The more familiar words are from Matthew 7:7…
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and you shall find; knock,
and it shall be opened unto you.
The translation is from the original Aramaic language, giving it a more universal or cosmic feel. Indeed, Douglas-Klotz’s book is entitled, Blessings of the Cosmos. It is this knock…be it from the outside or the inside…that can wake us up to life!
I’d like to re-visit Dr. Howard Thurman’s consideration of commitment in his book, Disciplines of the Spirit, in light of this knocking…this insistence…that life is alive…and we, as expressions of life are sustained by the characteristic vitality of life itself. Thurman does not stop at merely a description of this commitment, but goes on to consider its presence in the world…at each juncture of our existence.
If we open that door…the door of our heart and understanding, we will be able to, in Thurman’s words, yield the real citadel of ourselves…our true nature…drawing together the different parts of ourselves, such as the ‘mad man’ Legion who stood staring at Jesus with eyes that reflected the agonized turmoil within. This is the moment of truth…the ingathering of all the phases of one’s being… of honoring the citadel within. Thurman writes of this difficult process:
A person may live out all their days
Tensing every nerve to do their best…how may they know?
Is there no guide for a person? No shining light be which their steps are led?
Through all the chaos of their years they seek to know.
“Commit your way to something good that makes
upon your life the great demand.”
Place on the altar all hopes and dreams leaving no thing untouched,
no thing unclaimed…
This, it seems, was the process Jesus was suggesting for Legion. Jesus asked, ‘What is your name? Who are you?’ This is the first question Thurman suggests that we all ask ourselves when we are ready to explore the meaning of commitment for our individual circumstances…our individual identity. This is the process that ideally brings us to that insistent, but innocent knocking…a genuine curiosity about life. This is something we need to explore if we are to commit ourselves to life…to the great need…the great demand. It scarcely matters if this knocking is from the outside or the inside…it is both…it is inherent in our experience of life and aliveness…our experience as a part of life! Thurman says that it may be that this authentic sense of self that we are seeking is only possible when the ultimate urgency of the commitment has been born. And it is our process of discernment that brings us to that point of release…where we come face-to-face with the divine.
Thurman speaks to this as he continues his consideration of the process of commitment and of the search for the true self. He describes the experience like this:
And yet, no peace…
“What more?” I ask with troubled mind.
The answer…moving stillness.
And then
The burning stare of the eyes of God
Pierces my innermost core
Beyond my strength, beyond my weakness,
Beyond what I am,
Beyond what I would be
Until my refuge is in God alone.
Even though it seems that we have tried everything…we have left no stone unturned, there is no peace. That is, until we are able to bring to bear upon the moment…the moment of our high resolve, all the resources at our disposal in order to yield the nerve center of our intent to that to which we are committed. Thurman says that this is not any easy process, for we must contend with our humanness…to be connected to each other, to the cosmos and to the all-pervading presence…the presence that pierces our innermost core. He says that we need experience after experience to flow through us before we get down to the bedrock of our seeking and desiring. And though our connection to others is of utmost importance, and also needs to be honored, it is this bedrock of our desiring that we seek in order to unleash the power of commitment. Thurman points out that it is possible for this commitment to become an idol…a prescribed, hardened goal that is unable to be revised and refined. Instead, we acknowledge that within this idea of commitment is a renewal of our vows…a refinement of our goals.
Thurman and the founders of this church knew the significance of this refinement and they understood the foundational meaning of commitment. Each week we recite this commitment in community.
The Commitment
I affirm my need for a growing understanding of all peoples as children of God, and I seek after a vital experience of God as revealed in Jesus of Nazareth and other great religious spirits whose fellowship with God was the foundation of their fellowship with all people.
I desire to share in the spiritual growth and ethical awareness of people of varied national, cultural, racial, and creedal heritage united in a religious fellowship.
I desire the strength of corporate worship through membership in The Church for The Fellowship of All Peoples, with the imperative of personal dedication to the working out of God’s purposes here and in all places.
These are the only words recited by the congregation during our worship service. I think that is a significant observation. It could be that some people are resistant to recite anything in a church. I understand that. Having grown up in the Episcopal Church, I know what it is like to recite words that have become so automatic as to become hardened and meaningless. No one who attends Fellowship Church is required to say these words…or even read them. For some of us though, it can be a moving and connecting experience to say them together when we meet. For me, it is a reminder of my own commitment to life and especially to life in community…connected as One.
Could it be that this commitment to being in community is what can release the vast, creative energies? Could it be that our commitment to working out God’s purpose both here and in all places is part of what binds us together?
I believe it is possible…as part of the Search for Common Ground. This is the search of this experiment in community known as The Church for the Fellowship of All Peoples. We are seeking our own truth at the same time we are making sense of that truth in community.
Olive Schreiner spoke often of the seeking of this truth…and of how this search (such as Thurman’s Search for Common Ground) is often incomplete. We do not reach a fore determined goal by only our own efforts. Just as we acknowledge the fact that others have started the work before we arrived. Schreiner described this realization like this:
I have sought; for long years I have labored; but I have not found her. I have not rested, I have not repined, and I have not seen her; now my strength is gone. Where I lie down worn out, others will stand, young and fresh. By the steps that I have cut they will climb; by the stairs that I have built, they will mount. They will never know the name of the one who made them. At the clumsy work they will laugh; when the stones roll they will curse me. But they will mount, and on my work; they will climb, and by my stair! They will find her, and through me!
We are in this together, true…together with those who have preceded us and those yet to come. Yet, we are also constantly on the hunt for the scent of the genuine in our own souls. May we stay with that scent…seeking the genuine in ourselves and in our companions on the journey. May we find the freedom inherent in the release of all the creative energies of our existence…making space for this release…this natural response to life’s urgency!
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