Strength for the Journey | April 6, 2025 | Rev. Dr. Kathryn Benton

Done made my vow to the Lord,

And I never will turn back,

Oh I will go, I shall go

to see what the end will be.

Done opened my mouth to the Lord

And I never will turn back.

I will go, I shall go

To see what the end will be.

VERSES:

LEADER: Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down,

PEOPLE: See what the end will be.

LEADER: But still my soul is heav'nly bound

PEOPLE: See what the end will be.

LEADER: I'll pray and pray and never stop,

PEOPLE: See what the end will be.

PEOPLE: Until I reach the mountain top,

PEOPLE: See what the end will be.

LEADER: If you get there before I do,

PEOPLE: See what the end will be.

LEADER: Tell all my friends I'm coming too,

PEOPLE: See what the end will be.

The opening words are from the spiritual, Done Made My Vow, written by John Wesley Work, III. Born in 1901 in Tullahoma, Tennessee, he followed in the footsteps of his father who researched what were called the Negro Folk Songs.  This song has been playing in my head since I saw that Dr. Blake used a recording of it twice in a sermon over the past year. It is a powerful song, in one instance, used in his tribute to Elaine Stolp, a member of the church who died last year. In another, used in his consideration of the meaning and significance of Lent…the spiritual significance. He wrote that Lent was perhaps a time to make a vow. So, the song did not let me go, and I began to think more about this making a vow…what does it mean? What is entailed? I thought about my own life and times I may have made a vow. I’m sure I made plenty of vows when I was young, as all children do. And as I matured, I may have made other vows, including marriage vows.

But what I was remembering when I heard this song, in the midst of my grief over the loss of Dr. Blake, was my ordination vows…vows that were made to the all-pervading presence of the universe…to God. There were five people participating in my ordination; Dr. Dorsey Blake, Matthew Fox, Dr. J. Alfred Smith, Jr., Luisah Teish and Phillip Scott. During that ceremony, I know that I leaned heavily on my teacher Luisah Teish. She was the one who I clung to when Dr. Dorsey Blake delivered the Charge to the Candidate. Now this ordination ceremony was in the days before the filming or even recording of our services, so I cannot go back to listen to the charge again. I wish I could because it seemed to wash over me on the level of the spirit and not the intellect. I cannot recall a single word. All I know is how it blew me away. This was another example of what Associate Minister Suzi Spangenberg related at the burial of Dr. Blake. She spoke of a time when she was blown away by his speech…the fire of it. And after the charge, came the vows.

These were the vows:

Will you keep before you the moments of your high resolve?

Will you seek truth and walk in the light?

Do you promise to audaciously trust that which you have been

summoned to become?

I responded to each question, feeling the gravity of the situation…with the full knowledge that there was no turning back…this was serious. And I was in it for life…for the duration.

At the end of the ceremony, my closing prayer was from Dr. Howard Thurman:

I surrender myself to God without any conditions or reservations.

I shall not bargain with God. I shall not make my surrender piecemeal

but I shall lay bare the very center of me,

that all of my very being shall be charged with the creative energy of God.

Little by little, or vast area by vast area,

my life must be transmuted in the life of God.

As this happens, I come into the meaning of true freedom

and the burdens that I seemed unable to bear

are floated in the current of the life and love of God.

This prayer summed up for me the solemnity of the vows I had just made. It was a surrender…an opening to the creative energy of the all-pervading presence. It was, in a very real sense, a commitment to this surrender…this laying bare of the very center of me. Thinking of those vows today is no less awe-inspiring…or possibly daunting. The difference is that I do not have Dr. Blake beside me anymore, though he is with me.

I would like each of us today to consider if we have ever made a vow…not necessarily in the context of a ceremony, but a vow made between the fashioner of our existence and our own essence…our very center…our core. If not, maybe we will consider making one. If we have, then maybe it is time to renew it. We have an opportunity each time we meet when we recite the Commitment. This is the last paragraph of the Commitment:

I desire the strength of corporate worship through membership in The Church for The Fellowship of All Peoples, with the imperative of personal dedication to the working out of God’s purposes here and in all places.

This is a reminder of our commitment to one another and to our personal dedication…to the working out of God’s purpose. Thurman said of commitment:

Commitment means that it is possible for a person to yield the nerve center of their consent to a purpose or cause, a movement or an ideal, which may be more important to them than whether they live or die.

I was reminded by Felix Justice this past week of the anniversary of the murder of one who embodied that commitment…to a movement or an ideal which proved to be more important to him than whether he lived or died. One night after hanging up the phone from yet another death threat, he describes what happened…

I was ready to give up. With my cup of coffee sitting untouched before me, I tried to think of a way to move out of the picture without appearing a coward. In this state of exhaustion, when my courage had all but gone, I decided to take my problem to God. With my head in my hands, I bowed over the kitchen table and prayed aloud. 

King continues:

The words I spoke to God that midnight are still vivid in my memory. "I am here taking a stand for what I believe is right. But now I am afraid. The people are looking to me for leadership, and if I stand before them without strength and courage, they too will falter. I am at the end of my powers. I have nothing left. I've come to the point where I can't face it alone."

At that moment, I experienced the presence of the Divine as I had never experienced God before. It seemed as though I could hear the quiet assurance of an inner voice saying: "Stand up for justice, stand up for truth; and God will be at your side forever." Almost at once my fears began to go. My uncertainty disappeared. I was ready to face anything."

This spiritual experience strengthened King for the difficult days ahead. He was perhaps, from that day forward, able to keep before him the moments of his high resolve…he was able to trust that which he had been summoned to become. It was a turning point, he says, on his journey. A point after which he could not turn back…he had to see what the end would be. The end for Martin Luther King, Jr. happened on April 4, 1968. King understood the commitment that Thurman spoke of. He was able to yield the nerve center of his consent to the cause of social justice and of freedom…of peace and of the power of the Beloved Community. In the words of Benjamin Mays at his funeral, Martin Luther King Jr.’s unfinished work on earth must truly be our own.

King made his vow to the Lord. May we consider our own vow, today and in the days ahead. May we draw strength, like King did, from the all-pervading presence of the Holy…the source and goal of our longing.

Amen.